30 Day Challenge – Day 5: Suicide

30 day challenge

I forgot this was a topic on here. Hm. Seems fitting, though, since I just got done with work.

Today’s challenge is supposed to be about a time I thought of taking my own life. However, since the extent of my suicidal thoughts stops at vowing to hold my breath until I die (while having a temper tantrum as a kid, of course), I’m just going to talk about suicide in general.

Before I begin, though, I want to apologize for the brevity of this post. This isn’t exactly an easy topic for me to write on, and I don’t really have the emotional energy now to expound. So excuse me, and don’t take my concision (or joking tone above) for carelessness. It’s not. I promise. This topic is actually really near and dear to my heart– more so than I would like it to be.

Now let’s start.

Because I am uber religious, I obviously believe that suicide is wrong and is never justifiable. It doesn’t matter if you kill yourself because you’re depressed that your girlfriend left you or because you’re 119 years old, incredibly sick, and just want to go already. God decides when we both enter and exit this world, not you, so taking your life before He does is a huge no-no. Huge.

And don’t even try to argue, “Well, what if He’s the one making you kill yourself? What if that’s how He wants you to die?” This isn’t a theology debate, and that’s not how the concept of suicide in the Bible works. So don’t even start.

Aside from religion, I just think that suicide is the most selfish thing a person can do. It doesn’t matter how unloved you think are or how much you think your life sucks. Someone out there loves you, and someone out there has it much worse.

Taking your own life does nothing but leave every single person you know shocked and hurt in a way no one can ever imagine. Suicide will not solve your problems; it will only leave a gaping void in the lives of everyone you leave behind. Even if you don’t think they care, your absence will shake them — to the core. Because they do care about you. Trust me.

And even if you leave a note, there will still be no closure for those you knew. No matter what you say or who you blame, they will all forever wonder if they were part of the equation that led to you taking your life. They’ll always blame themselves, even if it’s for the stupidest, most outlandish reasons. They’ll always think about what they could have done differently to stop it, and it will eat them away for the rest of their lives. Because, like I said, you really did mean something to them. So your sudden absence from this world breaks them apart.

I’m speaking from experience here, by the way — the main reason I don’t want to expound.

Anyway…

I know there are some people out there who just can’t help the suicidal thoughts. They have depression or PTSD or something else that causes this thinking, and they just can’t seem to do anything about it. I sympathize with these people, and I pray they find a way to not give up and give in. At the same time, though, I don’t have too much experience with what they suffer, so I’m not going to say anymore on the subject.

And that is all. In case you’re reading this because you’re struggling with suicidal thoughts and are looking for some help, please click here for a hotline where you can get some. Also, feel free to talk to me at any time, although I can’t guarantee the quickness of my response — or if it’ll even be of any help to you. Still, though, the option’s there, and all the information is under the “contact” page above.

God bless, and see you next time.

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