The Worst Pick-Up Line I’ve Ever Heard

Ugh…

So the other day at work, there was a fairly attractive dude in the store. Normally when this happens, I’m a very happy camper, for fairly attractive dudes help the nights pass a lot more quickly than they normally would. However, this time around, things went a bit differently…

Ugh…

Basically, after almost an hour of him browsing the store, he finally decided on a few shirts and went to be checked out. At this point, I just so happened to already be at the register, so I would end up ringing him out. I got super excited at this, for I’d  finally be able to interact with my eye candy.

Yes!!!

Halfway through the transaction, however, this handsome man, who had been silent the entire time save for answering my how-do-you-do, suddenly shifted his weight and asked in an incredibly nonchalant manner, “So, does that mean you’re for sale, too?”

Excuse me? 

No, really, what?

Ahem. It was then that I remembered I was wearing a bright red lanyard with a giant red sale sign attached to it.

So, basically, this guy was letting me know he found me attractive by indicating that he’d like to purchase me if my lanyard advertising the store’s sale was also advertising my sale.

Ugggggghhhhhh!!!!

I simply laughed at his horrible joke, but if it were a perfect world, I would have instead replied with a very dry, “No, sir. Both prostitution and human trafficking are illegal.”

Ladies and gents, please, for the love of our good Lord above, don’t even think about using the whole “does that mean you’re on sale, too” thing in order to pick up another mate. You’re only going to thoroughly creep him or her out, no matter how attractive you are. Take it from me, someone who’s heard practically every line in the book thanks to working where creepy men tend to frequent; implying that, if you could, you would totally buy someone because you find them so attractive is just… uggghhh…

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