I love writing, but right now, I’m just tired. I have so much I want to say and do, but at the moment, I simply don’t have enough energy in order to get it done and thus get it out. And so I must say that I have to start easing up.
When I think about not being as ambitious as before, I grow sad, for it means that I’m delaying the living of my life that I so desperately want to do. But at the end of the day, I’m only human, which means that I naturally cannot get everything I wish done, and I just have to learn to accept that.
Trust me, though; I’m working on it, on trying to accept that I’m just a person and thus sometimes need to take a rest. It’s something that’s very hard for me to do, though. I don’t know why, but I just like to get things done, to know that I’m moving forward and thus alright. But what I fail to realize is that, while getting things done and moving forward with life are, when generally speaking, certainly more than alright, on a more specific level, all the time, that’s not necessarily the case.
So, from now on, in order to teach myself that, instead of trying to follow some ridiculously rigorous mental schedule in order to get ahead in life (for what reason, who knows), I am simply going to do things as I please. Being a go-getter is only wearing me out and making me incredibly unmotivated, so it’s time I finally eased up a bit, in all aspects of my life.
What I know in my heart is that success will come if and when it’s meant to be, and so there’s really no point in wearing myself to the bone in order to prematurely achieve it. I mean, just as an example, yesterday, I got a job offer completely out of the blue from a pretty successful magazine. Now, it may just be me, but I think that proves my little theory to be incredibly correct.
And so I will wait. After all, following what feels right deep within is what matters, and what feels right right now for me is not pushing myself beyond my limits. So that is exactly what I will do, finally stop treading on eggshells and simply take a breather in order to actually recuperate and prepare for whatever it is that lies ahead.
For some reason, it feels like I should apologize for admitting that I won’t be slowly killing myself with my work anymore (no matter how much I love it). But by swearing to ease up a bit in my endeavors, I know that I am only letting my insane self down, and so there’s no apology to be found. Instead, I’m simply going to end this brief thought by asking for a wish of good luck, for I think I’m going to need it very soon.
Now to go figure out how to write a good resume…